Attracting Your Peeps
*This article ran in the April 2015 Issue of Lipstick Chronicles Magazine. www.lcmagazine.org*
Do you ever wonder what the secret is on attracting the right type of people in your life? Do you look around after moving to a new place or start a new job and think how will I ever fit in here? In my experience, we all want a sense of community, a sense of belonging with someone, or with a whole big posse. That is where your preference lies. I have moved multiple times to different cities, started over at various jobs, and went through many life transitions in short periods of time. My one constant has been being surrounded by a great group of people. I have found the following tips have worked for me when attracting friends, work colleagues, or potential suitors.
A key to attracting quality people in your life is making a list of key qualities or feelings that you want to be surrounded by. I think when I discuss with people the type of partner or friends that they want in their lives that they do not fully know what they want to attract or can articulate it to others. If you cannot articulate what you want, then how can you attract it? When I was waiting for my divorce to be finalized, I knew that I wanted to attract single friends. I was not discounting my coupled friends, but I knew that I was going through a major transition and I needed single friends to help balance out my mix. I wanted them to show me what I had to look forward to rather than what I was missing. I did attract single friends that have become my best friends today in addition to the ones that I had before. When making your list of key qualities or feelings, it is not listing out everything in detail but rather focusing on how you would like to feel. For example, I want to feel energetic, empowered, and content when I am surrounded by ( fill in the blanks here). I want the key qualities of trust and loyalty. If you have a clear vision, then you have a clear focus. This helps the universe give you exactly what you deserve.
2) Accept Yourself
If you want to attract the right type of person or people, then you have to start the work with yourself. I know that you have read multiple times and heard the quotes about how you cannot really love someone else until you love yourself but I want to tell that this quote is semi-true. You can love someone but you cannot love them as deeply or wholeheartedly until you truly love yourself. When you are making your list or crafting your vision, reflect on you. What do you bring to the table? Are you willing to bring those same qualities and help foster in those steadfast feelings? As humans, we are going through life figuring out the process and learning each and every day. Be gentle with yourself. Be accepting of yourself. Embrace your being. Love yourself through each and every thing. You are great and vast in your being. Accept it now.
I am a huge advocate of daily affirmations and changing your thoughts in all areas of your life. Affirmations work well when attracting quality people in your life. Keep your affirmations in the present tense. Affirmations can be as simple as “I have wonderful friends. I am happy, healthy, and only attract healthy relationships.” Say these affirmations to yourself daily, on the hour of the hour, or however often you can muster it. When negative thoughts or things come your way (which they tend to do because we are human), replace it with a different thought, your affirmation. I strongly encourage you to look at the work of Louise Hay. She is the master of affirmations.
4) Trust Your Intuition
We have all been gifted with our intuition. Sometimes we listen to ourselves. Sometimes we ignore it. It is always there. It is always present. It is the truthest truth. When you meet someone new, listen to your gut. If it sings out in harmony, then you know that you have found a winner. If your gut feels uneasy or restless, then this person probably is not the best fit for you. They are probably a great fit for someone else, just not you. When you are connected with yourself, then it is easier to connect and know how to read people more accurately.
5) Get Out There
To attract people, then you have to put yourself out there. I used to act in high school and college. After my divorce was finalized, I thought it is time to make my return to the stage. I did not know if I was going to be cast or if I was any good, but I auditioned anyway. I did get cast in a community play. Being in that play pushed my boundaries, built my confidence, and helped me along in my healing process. Therefore, go to unfamiliar places that you might not have ventured before. Do activities that you always wanted to try but have not done yet. Salsa dancing, anyone? I know I just started taking classes at a studio. Sit at a different spot on the daily commute. Smile to others. Make small talk. Be completely who you are and experience life. Experience it all. When you are truly in love with yourself, out in different elements, and enjoying life, then the universe is working with you on bringing you exactly what you deserve. Go get’em Tiger!!!